i think there are heroes around us. not in superman shape or form. but ordinary men and women, doing extraordinary things. and its such men and women that deserve recognition and appreciation, whether it be by way of "thank you" or a hug in gratitude.
sometimes we are so busy idolizing politicians, celebrities, writers etc that we fail to recognize that often, it is the people most dear to us that does the most. there is nothing wrong in getting inspired by a nobel laureate, or one of the most innovative inventors of our time like Steve Jobs. But in the search of heroes for us to look up to, we actually needn't look too far.
my sister is such a person.
only Allah knows how i take her for granted. i suppose that's what families do, we sometimes forget to show appreciation because we know that families accept us as who were are, the good, the bad and the ugly. we take for granted that they already know how much they mean to us. hence, the neglect of "i love yous" or even the simple "thank yous".
i feel awful for not giving her the credit she deserves. yelah, sisters kan..sometimes we argue, sometimes we ignore each other..sometimes we dont spend so much time with each other for we feel that we always see each other anyway.
but i have come to know that family is above all else. and we shouldn't take them for granted, not even for a second.
My kak as has always been a helpful and sometimes even selfless sister. i remember when i was in matriculation centre, and i was so busy with 23 credit hours and societies and planning activities, she would always help me no matter what she had on her plate. she was in her final year at that time, and was busy with assignments but when i had to organise a debate tournament for the english society, she went out of her way to get the judges from the UIA main campus. if she didnt help me, the debate competition would have been a flop.
one thing i remember is: i always thought she was rich! why? because she never complained about money. she always called me bck when i misscalled her (during my poor student days---but she was a student too!). she always paid for my meals if we went out together. she topped up my credit and never accepted any repayment.
so i thought my sister was rich!
little did i know that was far from the real situation. she actually made very little on her first job, i think only a little more than rm1500. but somehow she managed to pay for her car and bills and she never ever asked for money. she was always generous with her family. and her generosity only grew with the years.
here's a woman that can afford to buy a nice branded handbag. but she would rather save her money because she wants to take care of her family one day. i was so touched, and felt remorseful of my 'mild' shopaholic ways when she told me her intention of earning was so that one day my parents didnt have to worry. she was happy to help her parents and her sisters.
typing this out honestly brings tears to my eyes. because she is so selfless, so giving, so sincere. its very hard to meet someone who does good for the sake of doing GOOD. but kak as is such a person.
despite her hectic schedule, she somehow manages to make time for her family. she makes time for charity. raises money for orphans, for Palestinians. it puts me to shame. if someone who is so busy can have the time to do her part for her family and society, what more a person like me?
because of her selflessness, it inspired me to give back. that's what motivated me to get involved with charities, to teaching underprivileged kids, to doing what i can in order to make a difference in this world.
kak as, with her optimism, made me realize anything is possible. and that nothing is as bad as it seems.
i remember when she started working in PD, her boss was quite cruel. and despite the demands of her job, despite the bad hours, despite the conflicts she was facing, she never complained. she never complained of being lonely in her small PD rented house. she never complained that they pay was not commensurate to the hours she was forced to put in. she always just made the best of the situation she was given.
no one knew of the hardships she had to go through. she was always just smiling. maybe that's why my father's friend called her 'the smiling lady'.
i guess that is her philosophy in life. smile, and you'll get through it. smile, and everything will be okay.
that's what i hold on to now when i go through hard times. when i feel like my job is difficult, i think of her and how she managed to survive all alone in a place far away from home. if she can do it, so can it. after all, her blood runs through my veins too.
i hope that i am able to repay her for all her kindness and generosity towards me and my family all these years, even during the times when she had not much for herself. she always had something for others. she was humble then, and even more humble now. i always thought she was the smart one. the one that read the hard-to-understand islamic books, the one that subscribed to The Economist (and actually understand it!), etc.
she'll deny it if i say she is the wise one. it really annoyed me at one time. but then i see that it is her humility that makes her special. at this day and age when a person is so arrogant with the little knowledge that he has, my sister is the opposite of that. always willing to listen, always willing to learn, always willing to give in return.
i know i hardly say thank you. i know it may seem like i am busy with two families now, with a husband, with my phd, with my students. but i hope you will read this (but not tell me la you read it sbb nanti i will me embarassed!!) and realise that i do see you. for all that you are. and i hope that one day i will be just as resilient, just as humble, just as optimistic as you. owh, and i hope i can make yummy red velvet cake and scallop potatoes like you too!
and for helping me through the difficult period in my life, without me even asking you to, thank you. May Allah reward you for you good intentions. and May Allah give me the chance to do good to you, as you have done to me.
i may call you a loser all the time, but i hope you know it is affectionate in nature :p in actual fact, you have always been and always will be someone that i aspire to be one day. a modern day muslimah heroine worthy of being mentioned and recognized, even if such recognition comes in form of a post in this dusty pathetic blog.
:)
Love always,
your sister (not the loser!)
